I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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