I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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