grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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