You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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