can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
