im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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