I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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