3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
