we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize