evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
