Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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