I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
