last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Randomize
