Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You know, be my cock's hype man.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
