Quick, to the slutcave!
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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