i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
