I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
He felt like a one man threesome
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You took a bar mat shot.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
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