At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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