you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
