Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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