I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
