If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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