Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
