remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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