I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
sex in a hospital.. check
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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