Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
