OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
