I wish I only lived at night.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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