Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
