at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
