I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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