And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize