My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
