she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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