dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
