i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
