Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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