You really coming over, don't trick.
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
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