And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Randomize
