AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
