what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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