Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
