You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
