Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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