So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
