Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
