Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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