Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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