i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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