Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
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