maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
