My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
