I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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