Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
