Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I've blown a few things in my day
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
