some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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