did you get engaged???
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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