Buhtt sex?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I need to calm my uterus...
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
