i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
