Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
