All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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