I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
