I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize